Sage plus Jinchuriki equals Family!
by kyokunkunoichi
Summary: The sage of the six paths was known as a god, but not even his rinnegan would prepare him for the stress and missadventures of adopting the 9 jinchuuriki, will he be able to cure Naruto's ramen obsession? Will he convince Gaara that the trashcan isn't the dinner table? Will the Juubi ever stop laughing his/her immortal self at the sage's luck?
1. Chapter 1

The 4 elemental nations were in peace that day, there weren't wars, fights, and everything was peaceful…

"By my own name! Gaara get out of the trash can! Yugito get off the curtains! Naruto drop that ramen and get all those foxes out of the house! And Fu by my name stop getting insects inside the house!"… Or maybe not

The house of Rikudo Sennin, the Sage of the Six Paths, and a sacred place apart from the mortals… was a complete chaos.

Fu, the Nanabi no Jinchuriki started to get a jungle of insects inside the house in a non-stop way; Gaara, the Ichibi no Jinchuriki, refused to drop his journey for food in the local trash-cans; Utakata and Yagura, the Rokubi and Sanbi no Jinchuriki specifically, were yet to return from their bath and Rikudo plainly believed that they had flooded it… again; Naruto, the Kyubi no Jinchuriki, apparently was lost in the mountains as he followed a couple of foxes and the sage just hoped that another family of foxes didn't try to adopt him again due to Kurama's influence; Roshi, the Yonbi no Jinchuriki, was in the top of a tree sharing fruit with some monkeys that he found with help of Son Goku; Killer B wrote his rap frenetically, still traumatized from the time when Yugito brought takoyaki as dinner; and Han… the Kokuou no Jinchuriki was still throwing fishes and other sea food at his dolphin friend in the little lake he found as he swam with him in an effort to get the dolphin to reveal him the secrets of swimming.

Rikudo cursed at the Jyuubi inside him 'Couldn't you help me a little? Shukaku, Matatabi, Isobu, Son Goku, Kokuou, Saiken, Choumei, Gyuuki and Kurama are YOUR children for my sake!' yelled mentally the sage as Jyuubi simply laughed 'Yeah but Naruto, Gaara, Han, Fu, Roshi, B, Yagura and Yugito are YOUR children, you're god! Deal with it!' said the demon lord with a mocking laugh as Rikudo dropped the conversation muttering about smart-asses demon gods and having tons of kids 'Collect and raise all the Jinchuriki they said… it'll be fun they said…' the sage cursed with all his might at the idiot that could have ever thought of the headache bringer of idea.

"RIKUDO-OTOU-SAN! WE'RE HUNGRY!" yelled the 9 little voices as Rikudo cried anime tears and went back to his house

**Well that was my first Naruto fic, hope you liked it and I'm planning to continue this but it's up to you, so please read and review, and if you'd like a sequel please put it in that cute little square that serves for review  
"Rikudo-outou-san! We want a sequel!"  
"Please help me with your reviews" *smash* "ME DAMNIT!"**


	2. Chapter 2 Part 1

**Well after much struggle I decided to divide this chapter, worry not I have an idea already of how to make the second part I just need that spark of exactly WHAT to do, any suggestions of what Fu, Yugito and Gaara would learn would be appreciated, just take in mind that they're still 7-9 years old kids, Jinchuriki but still kids, anyhow enjoy the chapter**

"_I'm too old for this sh*t" – Roger Murtaugh_

The sage of the six paths was currently sighing for the 100th time of the day, today was the day he had the 'brilliant' idea to introduce his youngest sons to the shinobi arts; Utakata, Han, Roshi and Killer Bee, being the eldest of the 9 already knew of this and had the 'honor' to help watching their younger siblings in order so that they neither hurt themselves while practicing… or hurt others in the process of doing so.

**Exercise 1 – Tree walking**

"Hey! I got it!-ttebayo!" said little 7 years old Naruto as he found himself standing vertically on a tree's surface, sadly due to him BEING 7 years old his control royally sucked and he found himself hitting the soft ground "Ow! That hurt!" he said while rubbing his back "Bee-nii-san, what am I doing wrong?" he asked to his dark skinned, still takoyaki traumatized, rapping addicted older brother who chuckled.

"You need to put more chakra in your feet! Otherwise you'll fell off the tree!" said Bee as he showed Naruto again the exercise as Naruto saw Bee's feet shinning in a blue aura and sticking himself to the tree's surface "You need to keep the chakra flow being cool! Otherwise it won't work, you fool!" 'rapped' Bee to Naruto as he nodded eagerly.

"So more chakra? No problem!" said Naruto as he started to canalize more and more chakra as Bee swore he saw the three starting to expand due to the chakra overload "Bee-nii-san! Bee-nii-san! I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" yelled Naruto happily as Bee started to turn pale as the three expanded more and more.

"Sweet mother of Juubi-" said Kirabi as an explosion sound was heard and Naruto landed in Kirabi's arms, the tree was nowhere in sight, the only remain being a black smoke where the tree previously was; later that day, somewhere within the Elemental Nations, more specifically Homura and Koharu's mansion, the two elders of Konohagakure, aka the 'fossil duo' found themselves enraged as they mansion was flooded, somehow the two royal sized water beds that they had just ordered a week ago exploded when hundreds of chopsticks suddenly landed on them, coincidentally coming from the direction where our favorite blond gaki was practicing chakra control…

**Exercise 2 – Water walking**

"Okay Yagura, this is the practice lake number 30, we have taken already 6 hours and the water necessary to fill the lagoon on Kirigakure TWICE, now for the love of Rikudo-outou-san, concentrate" pleaded Utakata to the young 7 years old Yagura who nodded, his Utakata-nii-san have been spending over 6 hours teaching him how to water walk.

"Okay now do you remember the rules of this 'particular exercise'?" asked Utakata as Yagura gave him a serious look and smiled… well as serious as a little green haired kit could look.

"Hai, no water manipulating, no talking with turtles, no controlling the animals of the area to look as if I was water-walking, no accidentally summoning Isobu-chan, no surfing and…" said Yagura as he tried to remember something else.

"And not turning water into wine, seriously Yagura how did you even managed to do THAT?" asked Utakata as Yagura shrugged.

"Well let's start this before something even weirder comes out" says the older Jinchuriki as Yagura slowly walks on the water.

"Remember Yagura, moderated but constant flow of chakra, we don't want to either get a bath or make fried fish now do we?" asked Utakata as Yagura frowned slightly, Utakata sighed at this, this was a normal trouble in all Jinchuriki, big-ass chakra reserves meaning no chakra control or whatsoever at a very young age, because of this simple jutsus like Bunshin no Jutsu were impossible for them, not because they were difficult, but because the chakra required for them was a joke! It was like grabbing a single grain of salt out of a mountain of it! Why hasn't anyone thought about making academy exams for Jinchuriki or students that simply had very large chakra reserves? Only Kami-sama, Juubi and Hagoromo-outou-sama/Rikudo-outou-sama know…

"Pretty good Yagura you're finally able to walk freely on the water" said Utakata with a smile as Yagura was now freely walking above the water "Let's try something a little harder shall we?" said Utakata as he took out his 'flute' (seriously I don't know how that is called, if anyone could enlighten me it'd be appreciated) and produced several bubbles "I want you to pop them up using the Water Release: Gunshot jutsu, this will help you on your control and focus as you'll have to maintain the necessary control for water walking, while using the necessary chakra for the jutsu and aiming, now shall we begin?"

"Hai!" was Yagura's only answer, something that Utakata greatly liked, his otouto didn't talk very much, only the necessary, and that accompanied with his petit-like figure made him look darn adorable sometimes, especially when he pouted, Juubi damned Isobu made him look like a little turtle sometimes.

After a couple of minutes all the bubbles were popped leaving a grinning Yagura and a smiling Utakata.

"Well done otouto" said Utakata as Yagura started jumping in joy.

"I did it! I did it! I DID IT!" said Yagura as Utakata's eyes widened when Yagura unconsciously casted up Isobu's chakra, causing a burst of chakra to come in contact in the water, making it literally fly away as if it had just been fired up like a hydro-canon.

In result stood a confused Yagura in a pool with less than HALF the water it originally had, Utakata looked as the water still leaked some steam from the chakra outburst, he sighed again, for what felt like the 100th time that day, but at least his duty was done… right?

Several miles away from the lake Jiraiya of the sannin, self-proclaimed 'Super Pervert' and writer of the infamous but well-known Icha Icha Paradise series, aka one of the reasons of why he's almost filthy rich, was enjoying himself in his favorite hobby: doing 'research' by peeping on nude young women in the hot springs.

"Oh kami this is worth gold" said Jiraiya while giggling perversely, he was taking notes so furiously that he failed to notice a shadow… a HUGE shadow.

"Huh?" asked Jiraiya as he felt his arm get slightly wet, like the touch of a drop of water "Is this water?" he asked as his eyes widened in shock and horror.

A huge body of water advanced furiously towards the hot springs alas towards his persona, the sage was barely able to seal his notes in a water-proof storage scroll before the mini lake of water dragged him all the way into the hot springs breaking the fence around it, when he regained consciousness Jiraiya found himself with a VERY familiar sight, beautiful kunoichi in nudeness with steam here and there, all of them glaring at Jiraiya with an intensity that would have made Hidan shudder in fear.

'Karma… if you hear me… I hate you' thought Jiraiya before he was beaten the hell out of him by kunoichi for peeping in a hot springs… for the tenth time in the month.


End file.
